Skeptics and Psychics Chapter 4

“So, is it okay if I go?”

Stardust had waited until after dinner to ask his dad about the party. If he'd been at home he would have just told his mom he was going out and left the number of whoever was driving him,there was no need to ask for permission but he wasn't home. He didn't know how his dad would feel about any parties Stardust might want to attend. Just to be safe he'd left out that he was to go as Cori’s date, letting him think the other teen was just a friend.of course, Stardust had no idea how his dad felt about the LGBTQ community but now was probably not the best time to find out. Besides, it was still too early to assume this thing with Cori was going to be anything at all, he'd cross that bridge when the time felt right.

“You said his name is Cori? Is that the Verbena kid?” Of course his dad would ask what Cori’s last name was. Stardust hadn’t thought to get it, mostly because Cori hadn’t asked for his either. He could just be assuming his was the same as his father’s but that wasn’t the case, he went by his mother’s maiden name.

“Honestly dad, I don’t know. He’s got purple in his hair. He’s a year older than me.” Cori had confirmed he was seventeen when they were on the swings, mostly because he was declaring that he would never be too old for that sort of thing. The city teen agreed with him there, he loved swingsets, even if there weren’t many back home that he could really fit into. Most of them were baby and toddler swings.

“The Verbena kid.” This time it wasn’t a question, it was an answer. At least he seemed to know who it was, maybe that would help him out. Then again, maybe it wouldn’t. If his dad was homophobic and Cori was as out as he seemed, maybe his dad would decide he wasn’t the kind of person that Stardust should be hanging out with. Which of course wouldn’t stop him, it would just mean that he would have to get sneaky.

“Well?”

“Oh, yeah. You can go. Just try not to drink too much and be safe okay?” His father’s expression was conflicted as he made the remark, like he wanted to tell him not to drink at all and to stay away from anything that was likely illegal but didn’t want to seem like a downer.

“I don’t really drink anyway. I’ll be good.” That seemed to help his dad out a little, his expression went from worried parent down to thoughtful parent. “I’ll ask him not to bring me home too late. I just figured it might be after midnight and since I can’t call you, it would be better to tell you know.”

“Oh yes, actually, about that.” Torvald got up from his seat, heading to his office to rummage around in the mess there for something. Stardust had figured out pretty quickly that though the rest of the house was fairly tidy, his dad’s office was a disaster zone. It looked like how he liked to work when he was doing bigger assignments or art projects. It was funny to see, knowing that his mother was only a few steps away from being declared a clean freak,  clearly it had come from his father’s side. Watching his father hunt for whatever it was that was on his mind, Stardust could see why his mother often asked him how he could find anything in his messes. It looked impossible.

Just like Stardust when he was working on his own projects, it was clear his dad knew generally where his target was located. It really didn’t take him long to come back with a little box in his hand, holding it out for his son to take. The teen didn’t take it right away, staring at the text on the outside of the box. It was a cell phone. He didn’t know if it would be classified as good or bad, any phone would be good to the teen. His dad moved it a little closer and he felt obligated to take it from him now. The weight in his hands felt strange, like it was heavier than he expected from such a small little package. He looked up at his dad who was settling back into his favourite chair, clearly not realizing that this needed an explanation.

“What?” Stardust voiced his confusion, hoping to prod an answer from his dad.

“Well, you said you didn’t have a cell phone right? It must be hard, being your age and not having one, when everyone else does. I just thought it might come in handy.” Though his father was clearly trying to make it sound like it wasn’t all that big a deal, it was a huge thing for Stardust. He didn’t want to let go of the box to open it, afraid that it was all just a strange dream and if he let go he’d lose it.

“I don’t have one because they’re expensive.” He said it quietly, knuckles almost white from the grip he had on the packaging. “Not even just the initial cost, the plans are bad too.”

“Well it doesn’t have a super great plan, I’m sorry about that. Mostly just the ability to call evenings and weekends for free, and text whenever you want. As for the initial cost, well, it was time for me to upgrade my phone but I’m perfectly happy with what I already have.” It wasn’t that his father didn’t understand just how big a deal this was to his son, it was the opposite. He knew that Stardust had assumed owning a phone of his own would be an impossibility and that he would always seem weird to his peers because of it. He just didn’t want to make the teen feel like it was pity that had made him go out and make the purchase. It had been love, pure and simple.

Torvald was not a cruel man, or a mean one. He’d always paid the child support he’d been asked for, sent extra on Christmas and birthdays but it was clear that the money he’d sent all of these years hadn’t gone exclusively to his son. Obviously Stardust was kept fed and housed and clothed, his mother hadn’t neglected that and she did care for him, that much was clear in the way that she’d spoken about him in her email to her ex-husband. Still she had fallen prey to an unusual addiction and that had clearly taken away the extra little things that would have improved his life. Gaming systems and laptops weren’t necessary in his life but a cell phone soon would be. If he thought Stardust would let him, he would have spent the summer spoiling him but he knew the teen was too proud.

“Thank you.” There was so much sincerity in the boy’s words it was almost painful to hear. Stardust didn’t even open the box, he just set it down gingerly before he got up to hug his dad. It was the first hug they’d shared since he was a small boy. Coupled with the emotions attached to the phone itself it made Stardust do something he’d not done in years. He started to cry, clinging to his father like he’d done to his mother so many years ago, when she’d told him that his father wasn’t going to be coming home anymore. The emotion had rushed him but just as quickly as it came, it subsided, leaving Stardust feeling a little silly and more vulnerable than he would have liked to admit.

“I'm sorry I didn't do it sooner. If I had known…” His father let the statement just hang like that, unfinished with too many unsaid words. Stardust wasn’t sure if he was more afraid to hear them or desperate to know what it was that haunted his thoughts. “I’m sorry.”

“Why didn’t you?” The question was out of his mouth before he could decide that he didn’t actually want to know. Now that it was out in the air with the rest of it he couldn’t take it back.

“Your mother told me not to come around. Said that I scared her, she was afraid my personal depression would affect you badly. I think one of those phone psychics might have helped her decide that but… She told me if I tried she’d run and then I couldn’t help you at all. I’d have nothing.” How could anyone handle such sadness? It dripped from his voice, fresh regrets only adding to the depth of it all.

“Oh.” Stardust wasn’t sure how to feel about that. His dad hadn’t fought for him, he’d just let his mother have control. He loved his mother but what kind of life would he have had if he’d been given the chance. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. It’s not your fault. All I can do now is try to move forward and make things right for you.” His dad sighed a little, rubbing his son’s back in a soothing motion that Stardust vaguely remembered from restless nights. He’d not felt this much like a child in years. “But let’s not focus on the past, not right now okay? This party, do you need anything for it? Clothes? Snacks? I know you said you had a ride.”

“No thanks dad.” The moment of nostalgia passed and the teen pulled away, shaking his head. He went back to his seat, both members of the pair choosing to pretend that nothing had passed between them. “I appreciate the offer but the phone is more than enough. I think it’s a casual party anyway.”

“Well, you tell me if that changes at all and I’d be more than happy to get whatever you need. Test out that phone tonight, if it doesn’t work, let me know in the morning and I’ll get it all fixed up for you before you get picked up. If you think of it, text me the address of the party? That way if anything happens and you need me, I can find you.” Even that offer seemed to surprise Stardust a little. His dad was always in bed by the same time, even when it didn’t seem like he had to work the next day. It was comforting to know that he would have a backup ride if something didn’t go as planned.

“Thanks dad.” He smiled a little, smearing tear trails on his cheeks. “I will.”

“Alright. Now uh, how about this movie? We can watch all of them tonight, make it a little marathon? Unless it's too old for you.” His dad offered, picking out a movie from the collection in the stand.

“Not too old. I love that movie, I've only seen the first one though.” Stardust got settled in his seat, opening up the box with his treasure at the heart of it. He started to charge it, face down, box lid overtop. Normally he would have been all over the piece of technology, but not now. Now he would watch a movie with his dad, leave the goofing off for later. In fact he got up from the chair he usually sat in to collect snacks for them both, choosing to sit back down on the couch with his dad rather than in the armchair.

It ended up being a late night, four long science fiction movies later, along with the promise of the prequel for another day. It was the most fun he'd ever remembered having with a parent, at least in the last few years. Sick from popcorn and candy it was well after midnight when they both stumbled up to bed. Before Stardust let his head hit the pillow, he put his first contact into the new phone. It wasn't just clumsy, tired fingers then made him fumble with the input of the contact name, it was the memory of the whole night weighing in on the decision. Slowly he backspaced his first autocorrect mess, putting in a different choice.

‘Dad’

It was the first time he'd called him that in text form. Torvald was more than just an absent father, he was a dad who loved him and regretted not being able to watch him grow up. He was a dad who really did care. Stardust saved the name and laid down, drifting into a comfortable sleep, feeling whole and safe and warm.